Knudson, Elizabeth “My Writerly World”

When it comes to how I write, the best way I could describe it is like a stream. When I start writing, things just come to me, like I’m weaving a tapestry. I’d describe this state as almost trance-like – I sit down, contemplate for a moment, and then there’s words spilling from my fingers, and the next thing I know, I have a paper in front of me. Of course, it’s unrefined, but it’s down. Usually I like to follow this up with brief error checks – grammatical errors, repetition, generally just glaring issues that even a child could pick up. Such errors stick out to me like a blot of red paint on a white canvas. Still, as flawed as the piece is, it’s there.  

Growing up, the hardest part for me was always getting started in the first place. Something I used to – and at times, still do – struggle with, is procrastination. But I’ve learned to manage it, think of it like a spillway (metaphor and simile are some of my favorite rhetorical devices after all). My writing abilities have always been things that ebb and flow like a river, much like the one I grew up next to. But as a child, with so much to say yet not patience to do so, I was swept away in the perplexing tides of this river. On occasion, I would find myself confronted with a Sisyphean task of a writing assignment, such as a research paper or essay, and suddenly be unable to comprehend the English language, let alone write a complex narrative or argument. Yet other times, it could be a menial assignment such as a free write, and suddenly I’d have the start to a novella. It baffled my teachers almost as much as me – I had the ability, so why couldn’t I use it?  

As I grew older however, getting started became the easiest part – the tricky part was editing. I am not a very decisive person, and never have been, and this is rarely more evident to me than when it comes to revising my own work. The piece is usually disorganized in this state, with scraps of ideas thrown about in ways that make little sense to anyone not responsible for its creation. The film I’ve submitted alongside the project is meant to depict this refinement process. Often, I like to bring in outside knowledge and my own interpretations into the things I write, especially when it comes to analysis. This is something I believe has the potential to add to my writing, but does become a hindering factor when it appears midway through the thought process of the piece and starts to derail the structure as a whole. Additionally, other parts of me want to stick completely to the assignment itself, and avoid any possibility of being accused of misunderstanding the assignment. Finding a balance in some way is usually how this happens – internal conversations tend to confuse me further, so I have to ensure my mind is quiet and not contradicting itself as this happens.  

The film is partially meant to depict a hypothetical rhetorical analysis essay, in which the “characters” represent my thoughts as they are in conflict over the ideals I previously disclosed. The third one, “Trudy” (short for “Intrusive”), is meant to represent my ADHD and tendencies to want to put off writing. Ultimately, however, my wandering thoughts are usually what pull me out of the self-contradictory spiral of my writer’s thoughts, as they help me to step back and realize, “hey, this isn’t working.”  

Often the biggest obstacle one can have to their creativity as a writer is themselves – but  sometimes, all it takes is patience, thoughtfulness, and maybe, just maybe, a little red noise to do it.