Helping a Friend in an Abusive Relationship

See the Abuse page for signs and explanations of an abusive relationship.

Don’t engage with the abuser unless you have a foolproof plan for how to get your friend out of that situation.

• Understand that the abuser may be isolating your friend
  • Don’t hold it against your friend if they begin to isolate themselves. Abusers will put ideas into your friend’s head that simply aren’t true, and your friend may use it as an excuse to disengage with you
• Don’t argue with your friend on which behavior is abusive
  • Arguing with your friend could potentially ensure that they no longer share things with you for fear of upsetting you. It is better to let them know that they deserve to be treated better and refuse to argue with them
• If they say they’re out of options, help direct them to resources
  • This is your chance to help bring them to organizations that can help them
    • See Hotlines and Abuse resource pages for specific organizations and contact information
• Respect their decision to stay in the relationship
  • There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships, but no matter how many times they return to an abuser, your friend needs to know that there are people outside of the relationship who care about them
• Help them create a Safety Plan
  • The National Domestic Abuse Hotline has resources on how to do so here

https://www.thehotline.org/help/help-for-friends-and-family/