March 22, 2017 - mh9868a

Commonplace 8: Live, Freeze, Then Die!

Two weeks ago I was super excited to go on spring break. I wanted to go out with my friends in beautiful weather. I thought, perhaps we can go for a hike in the mountains or spend a morning at the beach. We could go to every ice cream stand we can think of and pig out. However, I knew these activities were rather far fetched considering I live in New Hampshire.  

The best way I can describe New Hampshire weather is that snow miser from Year Without a Santa Claus LOVES us. It snows for about six months a year and is warm about one month a year (usually July). Granted, New Hampshire summers are amazing because you can go to Boston, the mountains, and the beach in the same day, but weather does not often permit that lifestyle. Overall, living in New Hampshire is basically consenting to shoveling your driveway every weekend for six months straight. Nobody explains it better than New Hampshire border native and comedian Juston McKinney.

In his stand up comedy act titled, “Live, Freeze, Then Die,” McKinney describes the rhetoric of  New Hampshire life in the winter humorously which is honestly not a common vantage point. The best and most relatable part of this sketch is the white holiday sequence. Sure we have a white Christmas and New Years, but we also have white Easters and Springs. It is always humbling to wake up to a foot or more of snow after being promised sixty degree weather. The only holiday Mckinney forgets is all of the white Halloweens we’ve had. I remember several times during my childhood when I paired my Belle dress with snow boots and an LL Bean jacket.

McKinney also discusses the real purpose of New Hampshire picnic tables. For most families, a picnic table is purchased to enjoy meals outside during the warm summer months. In New England, picnic tables are used to measure snow without stepping foot outside of your warm-ish house. There are truly only very specific days you can actually use the picnic tables. McKinney says, “there has to be a little breeze so there’s no bugs, but not too much. There goes the plates! There goes the napkins! There goes the food! It has to be a space shuttle launch.” I can honestly think of only a handful of times my family used our patio table last summer.

A New England patio table.

In conclusion, the New Hampshire winter rhetoric is accurately and comedically explained by Juston McKinney. I can personally account for many of the scenarios in the video, and the video certainly reminds me of the everyday rhetoric back home.

Commonplace Book commonplace / newengland / wrtg101s17 /

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