Common Place Books

Common Place Book 1

Original:

Around 15% of 16-year-old Londoners poor enough to receive free school meals get good enough grades to be on course for a prestigious university; across England the share is just 6%.

Changed:

Around 15% of 16-year-old Londoners poor enough to receive free school meals get good enough grades to be on course for a prestigious university. Across England the share is just 6%.

Explanation:

By adding a period it ends the already long sentence. Because the second part of the sentence relates to the first part, there was a good reason to put a semi-colon. the second part is fairly short but it still a sentence technically.

Original:

Some are techno-futurists; others espouse a kind of agrarian nostalgia.

Changed:

Some are techno-futurists. Others espouse a kind of agrarian nostalgia.

Explanation:

Because both clauses use uncommon and complicated words, the sentence is already tough to comprehend but when a period is added the first part is no longer a sentence. A conjunction could be added instead of the semi-colon or period and the sentence would still flow and sound uniform.

Original:

This is making sure that, instead of it taking weeks, you can do it in hours. This is a massive life-saving added value.

Changed:

This is making sure that, instead of it taking weeks, you can do it in hours; this is a massive life-saving added value.

Explanation:

The first sentence uses a lot of commas and the author puts an end to it with a period instead of continuing. The author placed so many commas for emphasis and intended for the sentence to be read slowly with breaks. Although both sentences can be mixed with a semi-colon, it looks and sounds strange because the second part of the sentence has no commas.

Original:

It already is. We talk about supplying food, medicine, shelter, schooling, hygiene and all the other things that you are familiar with.

Changed:

It already is; we talk about supplying food, medicine, shelter, schooling, hygiene and all the other things that you are familiar with.

Explanation:

The first sentence is very short and looks awkward separated from the larger body of text with or without a colon or period. Because many colons are used for the second part of the sentence a colon could be used after the word supplying. The semi-colon makes the sentence flow better in my opinion. Because the author is writing in the second person, he/she is addressing someone directly.

Common Place Book 2

Both are introductions from news stories in The Economist

THERESA MAY clearly wants to be remembered for more than overseeing Brexit. On September 9th the new prime minister set out plans to build a “truly meritocratic Britain” that stretched “the most academically able, regardless of their background.” The details, presented in Parliament three days later, included some minor fiddles, such as opening more religious schools and getting universities and private schools more involved in state education. But the centrepiece was a big policy shift that delighted some within her Conservative Party and appalled others: away from comprehensive education and towards academic selection.

The piece starts out with a bold statement about Theresa May to grab the attention of the reader. The author starts with an opinion in the first sentence. The “they say” in the article are the listed plans of the prime minister with actual quotes from her to show what she wants to do. The “I say” is the last sentence and is the author’s thesis and includes what he/she thinks of the Prime Minister’s proposals. This introduction does not follow Graff’s exact templates but the form is similar in conveying the introduction to the reader. This is different than the typical introduction because it is a news article with many facts, details, and some opinions. In the last sentence to give the “I say” portion the author starts with “but” which is a word used before a counter a claim. I personally found it strange that the author would use the word “but” to start a sentence.

DONALD TRUMP inhabits a world of shiny, gold-plated, nothing-really-matters nihilism, and he is betting that voters do, too. That is the best explanation for the show that the Republican nominee mounted on the morning of September 16th—with the full, helpless, beaten-cur connivance of the press, cable news and TV networks who covered it lavishly, at one point treating watching Americans to extended coverage of an empty podium inside Mr Trump’s new luxury hotel in Washington, DC, while the businessman’s motorcade nosed its way through the traffic. If the show proves popular with audiences outside the Beltway and opinion polls continue to narrow to a dead heat, the businessman-demagogue may yet win his bet.

The article starts with a very descriptive statement about Donald Trump and the author gives his/her opinion right from the start. The reader from reading the introduction can see that even the background information is clouded with biases and opinions. The “they say” is the “show” Trump put on, on September 16th and how the press covered it. The “I say” is in the last sentence where the author predicts with what he/she presented as a prediction that Trump may win the “bet” or election. This introduction does not follow Graff’s exact template but it does use some writing skills that are essential in an introduction like giving a statement to intrigue the reader or using the “they say, I say” element.

Common Place Book 3

“Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

-Nelson Mandela

Education is the most powerful (weapon) which you can use to change the world.

Education-subject

Is-verb

Weapon-direct object

Different ways to write the sentence:

To change the world, the most powerful weapon you can use is education.

The most powerful weapon you can use to change the world is education.

books4My sentence with same form:

Fracking is the most destructive method to attain oil.

Common Place Book 4

commonplace-book-assignment-1200x1600

The sign says that the bathroom is gender neutral. This means that people who identify as male or female or no gender can use the restroom. It’s a public restroom so the university gives a heads up notice to whom ever may use it. There are stalls but not urinals in order to incorporate everyone. The notice says that anyone can lock the door for their own use to feel comfortable. This is a growing trend where many public places are using restrooms as gender neutral for those who feel like they identify with a different gender than they were born with.

Common Place Book 5

“Shall Property owned by the University System of Georgia and utilized by providers of college and unive
rsity student housing and other facilities continue to be exempt from taxation to keep costs affordable?”

  1. Subject- property Verb- continue Direct Object- taxation
  2. Words that stood out to me

    exempt, utilized, shall

  1. The sentence is fairly long and I had to read it more than once to understand it.The “encoder
    could have written the sentence to make it more understandable. The purpose of the sentence is to ask the question if whether or not universities should continue to be exempt from taxation to keep costs affordable. There is too much use of the word “and” and it can be substituted w
    th a comma.

Common Place Book 6

The Constitution
The Constitution


Article II, Section 4 of the U.S Constitution

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

Subject- The President, Vice President and all civil Officers

Verb- shall be removed

In my opinion, there are an unnecessary amount of commas. There shouldn’t be a comma after “United States” and the comma after “of” should be replaced by a colon. Because this is a framework legal document, the message has to be very clearly expressed in order for people to follow it.

Common Place Book 7

The Declaration of Independence

When in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with one another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to wh
ich the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

Subject- Respect

Verb- requires

Main Clause- a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires

This is a very complex and long
sentence which starts out the Declaration of Independence. The first sentence lays out a clear aim by the writer for separation and how it is justified. Although this was written a long time ago, under today’s language standards  the sentence is a run on.

Common Place Book 8

The New Jim Crow Pg. 78

Thus in the late 1960s and early 1970s, two schools of thought were offered to the general public regarding race, poverty, and the social order.

Subject- schools

Verb- were

Sentence Structure: Direct clause, Independent clause
Common Place Book 9

S Street Rising Pg.119

Around 1980, groups of Jamaicans set up shop in D.C to deal marijuana.

Subject- groups

Verb- set

Sentence structure: Direct clause, Independent clause

Common Place Book 10

The Communist Manifesto Pg. 95

The immediate aim of the Communists is the same as that of all the other proletariat parties: formation of the proletariat into a class, the overthrow of the bourgeois supremacy, conquest of political power by the proletariat.

Subject- aim

Verb- is

Sentence structure: X,Y,Z

Under today’s grammar standards, after the last comma there should be an “and” or a different kind of conjunction.

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